I struggle with articulating this particular thought for fear of its misinterpretation. It goes something like this: Why does everybody seem to care so passionately about everything? Seriously, I mean almost every subject, every matter, every discussion, we feel we must take a stand, draw a line in the sand, and engage in a fight to the death. Often the overarching result is a scorched earth to our relationships. I liken it to Genghis Khan’s philosophy of: “It is not sufficient that I succeed — all others must fail.” It costs us relationships at work, at home, in our social circles and even with some of our customers … or should I say perhaps “former” customers! The political views of my golf buddy Mark are remarkably misdirected; I suspect he would say the same of me, but I’m the one writing the column. We agree on absolutely nothing politically, which renders him infuriating. We might say we try to find common ground, but so far it remains elusive. However, as we value our friendship, we’ve simply elected to not talk politics. It’s not easy but it is easier than finding a new friend … I think?  

Not only do most have strong opinions, but they also feel they must be shared. We seem to live in a nation where we have the right to remain silent but not the ability. I suppose my thinking is that it’s great to have passion but like anything else, perhaps even passion has limits. Therefore, if you spread your passion across too many causes, it doesn’t have the bandwidth to go deep, resulting in your passion being perhaps superficial. It may be better to, as they say: “pick your spot.” 

It seems to me, as paradoxical as it sounds, maybe we need to care less, or care about fewer things. Whatever happened to pick your battles? You know, engaging in a gut check before you took a position on a matter. Once upon a time, when one would typically ask through preemptive introspection, “Is this a hill on which I’m willing to die?” For anyone familiar with the movie “Frozen,” let us follow the advice of Queen Elsa who suggested, “Let it go.” I agree at times — for the love of God, just let it go! People, you only have one life and you’re losing it every minute. 

I have written previously on the tendency today to confuse opinions with intelligence. Everyone today seems to pontificate their position on everything, but I will often find they are simply regurgitating what they heard. In my other world of a university classroom, I get exposure to the next wave of corporate leadership as I teach the capstone course in the graduate school. Therefore, I am the last touch point before launch. I have been fortunate to be at a prestigious university with a very selective admission rate of only 8 percent. An argument could be made the best of the best. They are intelligent, funny (for engineers), whimsical, curious and have abundant potential that will make a difference in the world they have ahead. I’ve invoked a new rule in my relationship with them and with our impressive young talent at CTI, which goes something like this: “Stop … don’t tell me what you heard, tell me what you think.” As they have great potential, I want them to exercise their more than capable brains. Genuinely, I am interested in what they think and want them to think on their own. Like any muscle, when not used, atrophy sets in.

Today we see this played out every day with the popular taking of the sanctimonious “high road.” Yes, everyone is an expert in telling us “what” to do but in every case, they stop short of the “how” to do. OK, let’s ban guns … however, there are already 400 million guns in the United States alone, so what’s your first move after your press conference? Next up, reparations … but that price tag of $17 trillion is significantly insurmountable. So how do we intend to pay for this? You see, it takes a strategic mind to take the ever-so-popular sound bite and render it actionable, as in “how to.” So, our takeaway is for you to be strategic and surgical when you take a stand. Above all else, be legitimate that your passion is more than just a “drive by.” Finally, see your conviction through from not only the “what” but also the “how.” 

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” — Eckhart Tolle