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Have you ever found yourself on the hunt for the elusive creature called work-life balance? Did you find it? What did it look like? What did it feel like?
To me, the picture that pops into my head when someone says “work-life balance” is similar to a scene from “Leave it to Beaver,” where the mom is standing in the kitchen over an ironing board, calmly and neatly ironing out sheets of paper (symbol for emails), one-by-one. Making them perfectly flat before moving on to the next one. A smile always upon her face, life seemingly in harmony.
I cannot grasp the notion of work-life balance. And even when I think about it, it seems boring. It feels mundane to me, and every day would be the same. How would that even go? Maybe it would look like scenario A where the contractor from Construction Company X knows you’re working on something for Company Y and is OK waiting a week for an answer.
Or maybe it’s more like scenario B, where the client doesn’t care about the opening date of its building, so you can wait to issue the construction documents until the next deadline is over. If you work with those types of contractors or clients, send me a DM (direct message for those born before 1980) because I want to chat.
I am telling you to stop looking for the balance; you will not find it. I get so mad when people tell me I need to find a better work-life balance. First off, you only see a part of my life, and yes, maybe that portion is out of whack at the moment, but you are only seeing 50% of my equation. Likewise, as a leader, I only see 50% of your equation.
It is OK to leave work at work. It is OK to shut down the computer at 5 p.m. and not open it again until 8 a.m. the next day. It is OK to say no to a meeting request because you are going with your child on a class field trip. It is OK to take a day off and do nothing but sit on the couch and eat ice cream. It is OK. I repeat — it is OK to say no to things.
We live in this world of constant connection. Cell phones give people the opportunity to reach us whenever and wherever they feel it’s convenient for them. We now have apps to get our email or Teams messages on the same phone. While I think those apps are great, they also destroy our boundaries. In fact, they have torn down the boundary wall completely.
I will say it again: People reach us on our phones when it is convenient for them. We don’t have to live by what is convenient for other people. Before I get the messages saying, “But Jill, emergencies do happen sometimes,” I want to acknowledge that yes, that is a true statement, and there are always exceptions. Address the emergency, take that phone call, and address the “hot” RFI needing an immediate answer (even though the contractor waited three weeks to post it).
Let those items be an exception, not a habit. If you are not given a deadline to respond to something, ask. Negotiate. If they need something tomorrow, say, “I have a lot on my plate; would Friday work?” Often, the answer is yes; it can wait a day or two.
Turn. Off. The. Notifications.
Do I have email on my phone? Yes. However, I don’t allow it to notify me when a new email comes in. Why? When I receive the notification, I immediately want to deal with the email. If you email me at 10 p.m. and my phone notifies me, I cannot sleep until that message is dealt with. So, I turned off the notifications.
I don’t have email on my phone so I can reply at all hours of the day. It’s there so when I am working offsite and can’t be at my computer, I am still accessible. I check my email on my terms.
Similarly, you don’t always have to answer the phone. It is rare that I take a work-related phone call after 5 p.m. If it is important, the person will leave a voicemail, and I can address it the next day. More often than not, they follow up with an email, making it even easier to address during work hours.
By setting our boundaries and creating healthy habits, we are creating more of a balance between work and home. Our brains and eyes need a break from technology and screens. So, at the end of the workday, turn them off so you can be in the moment when the moment is happening, not back at the job you left hours before.
It will be tough at first, but try it out and stick with it. I think you’ll find that the “balance” is nice.