Hello readers… can you relate?  After an already long day, you get to end at a sporting event with your customer or friends. Of course, you have great seats and VIP parking. At the end of the game, (after a loss if you’re in Chicago), you’re in that 15-minute window to get to your car and roll out or add an hour to your commute. Unfolding exactly as you planned and then… it happens: one of the guys says he needs to hit the john! What! Is there not some life understanding that you don’t need to be taught?  This article is about “that guy”…you know that guy in your world, for as you read this you even know his/her name. If you think you don’t have one in your group, perhaps look in the mirror.  

I’ve been doing this industry “thing” for a long time and feel blessed to have been afforded the opportunity. I’ve made friends with many of you, and learned from all of you. Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why.” I, similar to many of you, had career options, yet felt I was doing what was intended for me. In addition, intended in this great industry. It has been a rich, robust journey. At a certain point in your journey through life, you reach an age where you becomes more retrospective and introspective ― which is where I now find myself. What you discover as you get older is that some things bother you less, while other things bother you more.  Life becomes more bifurcated, and thus more efficient. It’s one of the few benefits of getting older.

One of those “bother me more” things is that so many seem to be unable to read the damn room. They travel through life on their own self-absorbed path, categorically insensitive to their effect on others and clueless to perhaps the needs of others, even those close to them. I tell students and the young, talented mentees in our organization that, to be successful, you must manage the finances and the optics — for to be devoid of either will derail your leadership aspiration. So, is it “left brain or right brain”? Is it “head or heart”? Is it “EQ (Emotional Quotient) or IQ (Intelligence Quotient)?” Of course, the answer to all is a resounding yes. I suppose, in the spirit of efficiency, let’s just say get your head out of your rear end and keep it out! Clueless people seem to be growing, and as you know, “they walk among us.” Military people refer to “situational awareness,” while business professionals say, “read the room.” It is absolutely critical to success. 

Ever see a line at an airport, bar, or sporting event where the guy at the front of the line engages in their protracted life story with the bartender? My God, scan your card, tip, and for the love of God, move on. Live another day to share elsewhere your new tattoo of a Disney character and how you didn’t even flinch. Did you perhaps notice the eight of us in line behind you?   

Have you ever been in the classroom or boardroom and wanted to ask someone, “Did you just say that out loud?” An example of those who have not yet learned that all inner thoughts don’t need to be outer thoughts! Not every thought needs to be shared. 

Have you ever been to a wake or funeral where a visitor gets to the front of the line to express condolences to the grieving at one of the worst times of their life — only to launch into the story of how they lost their mother or, worse, their cat? Hey buddy, this moment is not about you. 

Have you ever been in an elevator when the door opens and a person standing there just stares from some paralyzed suspended animation?! Are you not the one who pushed that button over there? Did you just want to see the pretty button light up? Let’s go, jump aboard…move one of those feet forward, then the other, now again…atta boy…chop, chop.

How about the human rain delay on the golf course? He shoots a 90, but only after three PGA-style practice swings for every shot, does he realize that might be why: A) his arms are falling off after literally swinging the club 360 times; B) his friends don’t answer his calls ; and C) he gets invited less, as the group already has three.  

As I encounter these situations all too often, I hear a sound in the background. Then I realize that sound is the sand cascading through the hourglass of my life! Please save me…or however much of me that is left.

So, the takeaways: 

To the young in our industry: for success, you need a genuine empathy for your colleagues, customers, vendors, and family. You need both EQ and IQ skills. You must understand how your behavior affects those in close — and not-so-close — proximity. Know that words have consequences.

To the veterans: Just because we’ve been doing this a long time doesn’t mean we get a free pass. We are not exempt from the expectations we place on the up-and-coming. After all, we are the examples we hope they will emulate.

In closing, remember life goes quickly; therefore, we must navigate with a cadence and tempo to respect the finite nature of the time we are given. “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” ― Jack Handy