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When I was asked to write an article about offering advice to my younger self or the younger generation, my first thought was, “Oh no, this is going to be tough.” I am not a writer, and I felt my own pressure of trying to write something perfect.
That, ironically, brought me to my first piece of advice: stop striving for instant perfection. Instead, be yourself, be authentic and open-minded. Laugh with others, laugh at yourself and sweep the need for absolute perfection away.
My next piece of advice would be to try not to take anything personally, which is extremely difficult to do but it will change your life if you can master it. When someone is verbally abrasive, disrespectful, hurtful or overbearing, know that their actions are more about what is going on with their need for control and their fears or lack of confidence than it has to do with you. This will help you remove emotion from the discussions you have and the decisions you make moving forward.
I have sat in meetings and people get upset when others disagree with them. Disagreement and conversations are how we get to the best decisions for companies. We all work toward positive conversations, but that does not always happen. Keep calm, get your point across respectfully and then move on even when others have a tough time moving forward. How you manage your emotions speaks volumes about how others perceive you.
Make sure to build strong relationships at work, and with family and friends. It is who you surround yourself with that will make the biggest impact on your life. It is not always about time spent, or how many relationships you have; instead, it’s about the quality and trust within your closest relationships.
I have had many positions in my life, and most of them came through strong relationships. Part of building relationships is listening to those you spend time with and understanding if they want your opinion, need your help or simply want to vent or celebrate something. Be conscious of who you spend time with because time is a gift; it is not something we can buy, get back or stop. Spend it wisely.
Keep learning and creating experiences for yourself. The old saying is true: Knowledge is power and leads to a much better understanding of the business you are in and staying ahead of what is next. In our personal lives, it gives us something to look forward to, such as a new hobby, facing a fear or experiencing something completely different from what we typically do. I have found that if I try something and I fail, it is not failure; it means I learned, and that gives me the opportunity to do it better next time.
So many people do not try things because they do not think they will be good at it. Try it anyway! Who wants to lead a life where fear of success or not being “good” at something stops them from living a full life? I fail at things all the time. I laugh at myself, I learn and, better yet, I share what I learn with others.
I would encourage you to travel when you have the time. It does not need to be expensive, but seek out areas outside your comfort zone — such as other countries and cultures — and learn and grow from them. Whether it is hiking for a few days over a long weekend, taking a longer trip overseas or adventuring throughout the United States, every trip and experience helps you to grow and understand.
Lastly, and this is easier than most make it, be kind. Have empathy for others and try to find understanding. I encourage you to volunteer your time when you can and help strangers or those who will never have the opportunity to return the favor. It sounds cliché, but I honestly believe your kindness may be your greatest gift.
I like the saying, and I cannot remember who said it, but leave places better than you found them. Take the time to pick up a piece of trash, hold a door or help a stranger because every bit of selflessness matters. Look at things that need to be done and do them if possible. If we were all helpful, even with the smallest tasks, we would live in a much better world.
Thank people, recognize when someone is standing alone and invite them into the group, and help people feel comfortable. You have no idea how much this can change a person’s life with such a small gesture of kindness.
Melissa Coolidge is the vice president of sales at OASIS International.